Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I have two special women that I call "Mom". I want to write a little bit about them and what I have learned from them.
The first person is my mother who lives in Japan. My mother married young and had me when she was 20 years old. Some of you know that because I was born with few rare conditions, I had to get my leg amputated when I was two. All my life, the hospital and I were inseparable, and we still are.
I just wanted you all to know that I don't want you to think that I write these things so people pity me or that I want to get more attention. It is just such a big part of my life that it is impossible not to write about it while telling you about me.
Anyways, going back to my mother... consider being so young, and having a child with a sickness that will last rest of her life. Now I am a mom of three, I can't imagine the worry and heartaces she felt while she was raising me. But, she never treated me any different then my sister.
There are so many things I learned from my mom, but two things come to my mind, the first one is "courage". I will tell you one incident that has stuck with me for a long time...
The prosthetic limb I had when I was little was a very simple primitive looking one. It was a pirate leg (peg-leg). The neighbor kids would always tease me and said very mean things. Sometimes they even got physical... I think I was 3, or 4 years old at the time; the kids were so mean I went home crying... guess what my mother did.
She gave me a broom and said, "I can't protect you all the time, you have to learn to stand up for yourself. Tell them that you don't like what they do and say. "Until you do something about it, I won't let you back in the house.", with that, she closed the door, and I heard it lock.
I cried and screamed for a while hoping that she would change her mind and open the door. I am pretty sure that I thought she was a devil. There were no signs of her coming to open the door, so I stood up and went to find those kids.
All I remember was I spotted them from far away, I mean real FAR AWAY, I screamed something and threw the broom at them. (it probably fell on the ground). Then I ran back home, my mom immediatly opened the door and hugged me tight and said with tears in her eyes, "Good job, good job."
I don't know if I can do the same thing to my kids, I would probably be smacking those other kids around with the broom myself.
I am not saying that, this method would work for all the children, but it definately helped me in my life. To have the knowledge that I can speak up and be courageous gave me the confidance that I needed. Later she told me that She didn't want me to grow up ashamed of myself and how I look. I am so grateful she gave me that gift.
Another thing I learned from her was "Compassion". I was probabley around 7 or 8 years old. My mother was packing our car with big bag of rice, potatoes, and other food items from our pantry and refrigerater, they were nearly empty. After that was done, she told me and my sister to get in the car and she started driving. I asked her, "where you taking these?" and she said, "to my friend."
My mom had this friend, she was divorced with three small children. Her ex-husband wasn't paying any kind of child support or alimony. Even though she was working two jobs, it was very difficult for her to support herself and her children. Sometimes, they went without electricity or phone connection and food. (My mother told me these details when I was much older).
Not knowing all these things, I was very confused and worried. My parents always had medical bills they had to pay, even though I was young, I knew, we weren't doing so well either. I asked my mom "Why are you giving those things away? What about us?"
She was quiet for a while, then said, "She is my dear friend, and she and her children are in trouble. I can't just let them starve. We are in a slightly better position then they are, so I want to help. Don't worry, we will be fine, we will get by."
I didn't ask any more questions. We were all quiet the rest of the ride there. My mom was right, we were fine, we didn't go without. I don't even remember what we ate till the next pay day, but I know we were always fed.
What I remember is the face of the youngest boy, and the words my mother said, that night. "I can't afford not to help".
What's great about her is, she doesn't even mention any of these things to anybody. She would quietly help and forget. I am so blessed to have her as my mother, and she taught me life's important things through her actions.
Another special person is my mother-in-law. I call her "mom". As I was born and raised in Japan by strict parents, It was just very awkward for me to call her by her first name. I felt like I was disrespecting her. After thinking it over sometime, I decided to call her mom.
That's exactly what she was. One thing I learned from her was "acceptance". She helped me to get used to living in America, and accepted me as her daughter-in-law.
I don't know how she felt, when her son told them that he wants to marry someone rather average looking who is from a different country, who doesn't speak their language well AND, who has many medical problems. She was always nice and kind towards me. She was the one who took me around to find my wedding dress, taught me some American cooking and we watched many chick flicks together.
I hope I can be as nice and as graceful as she is, when my children bring someone to introduce to us as their future spouce.
Another thing I learned from her is "Love for her family". She is a devoted mother, who has raised five children. Her love for God and her family is always inspiring to me. She is also a wonderful grandmother to our children. Last summer, she took my children and their cousins to museums, movies, and many fishing trips. They loved it! It is great to see that they are building a special relationship. I am so grateful that she is taking the time to do that.
More importantly, I am grateful she raised such a wonderful man like my husband who is fun, loving and loyal. I know he is who he is, because of her. I am eternally grateful for that.
I am nowhere near being the perfect mom, but it is my deepest desire that my children will learn something from me that will enrich their lives. I think it is so important to teach and take care of our children spiritually, as well as physically. I take that very seriously as a mom.
I know there are MANY, MANY wonderful mothers out there, I just wanted to do some "Tea Rose Home" style celebration of Mother's day! That's where the giveaway comes in!
I am giving away up to $20 worth of items to two people from my etsy shop!
This will run from now til the end of day, May 5th.
Now ladies, it is your turn. Here are the rules and how to enter to the giveaway:
1. Let me know what you have learned from your mom. (you will get one entry)
2. Become a follower of my blog and show me your beautiful face on my side bar (second entry)
3. Blog about this post and giveaway on your blog and link back (third entry)
I will be looking forward to reading what you have learned from your moms.
Moms, mothers, and mommies...You all are wonderful! Everyone Happy Mother's Day!